It has been 9 weeks since we joined the world of the family of 4. It has been fast and slow all the same but lessons are continuously being learned. As parents do we ever feel like we have enough answers let alone all the answers we need? I am not sure I will ever figure it out.
The first few weeks were a blur. I couldn't tell you what I did on a daily basis at this point. The baby slept well and was a good baby but between pumping, cleaning the house, trying to get myself back together, dealing with random stuff at home I was beginning to think that I would never catch up. Just when you think you have a routine down and are prepared the fun of preparing to go back to work starts. I am not sure if one is ever truly prepared for going back to work, but I will say that the adventure was much different this time around.
With Charlotte I was fortunate enough to take 12 weeks of work off. I had time to bond, practice being a mom and get my routine down a bit before that time rolled around. I had her in May which gave me plenty of outdoor time, time to spend at the pool and even to get in a few small summer trips with the husband and baby before I started to prepare to return. We had a nanny lined up, practiced the morning routine (at least the routine not necessarily the getting up at 5am part) and made sure we had purchased everything that we needed for the baby and me being apart. The process was emotional and I eased myself back in working half days the first few days and then slowly back to a full schedule within a few weeks. The second time proved to be a much different event.
With Georgia I was fortunate enough to have our wonderful Kim to love on my kiddos while I was at work. She has been helping us since May of 2013 so she knows my house, knows my parenting style and understands how much I appreciate her. The baby wouldn't have to leave the house so the stress of packing enough clothes, diapers, creams, pacifiers, burp cloths, hats, lotions etc. was eliminated. I just needed to focus on myself. Considering I only took 8 weeks off, it was much less bonding time, less time to lose weight, and less time to mentally prepare. I am not sure if it was a good thing to not think about it as much, but it is starting to catch up with me.
I am in my second week back in the office. I almost detached myself from my emotions last week when I returned to avoid crying meltdowns in the office. I prepared myself with new clothing, a pair of new shoes and a routine that made my mornings easier. G was sleeping almost too well and I was ready to get back into a routine. Do I miss my snuggle time with my girls- yes. Do I know that I am setting a good example for them and helping to provide my family a better life- yes. Does it still pain me to think of them when I am at work-yes.Am I glad I do it- yes. I am not sure if it is the second child thing or the exhaustion but its definitely hard. I wouldn't trade my situation for anything at the moment (well give me a huge salary and I would still work, just hire someone to clean, put away laundry and do the chores I hate to do at home and its easy. i realize that I am fortunate enough to enjoy my time away and be a better mom when I return. Having good people in your life make all the difference.
I am sure this post is a lot disjointed since I am all over the place today but I have to jot these things down before I forget them. Off to snuggle the littlest lady in our house and maybe get a hug or kiss from the bigger one (she is too cool some days for that).
