Everyone had plenty of advice for us when we found out we were pregnant again. Most of the advice we received was how to prepare our dear Charlotte for the new baby. Nervous was an understatement. When you decide to have another child no one prepares you for the emotions you will go through in the 9 months to follow. The first preganacy has plenty of distractions- from starting a baby registry to parties and planning a new room are just some of these destractions that make the months go by faster. When you are pregnant with number 2, you get lots of questions. Are you ready to handle two? Wow, two kids are expensive? Are you going to find out the gender this time? All of the questions become daunting in the end and sometime distract you from the things you need to prepare for.
When you are finally grasping the fact that you will be a parent of two you finally realize the questions that do need answered. We start thinking about room configurations, babysitting, time off from work and how you are going to prepare baby number one for baby number 2. The things that really matter are pushed off until the point where you realize that you need to tackle them and you arent sure if you are ever going to get them accomplished.
We found out we were pregnant in July of 2013. Middle of the summer, it was hot and I wasnt sure what we were going through. I was sicker than a dog. Morning sickness was something that I experienced morning, noon and night. Trying to hide this pregnancy was something that I wasnt able to do as easily. If you think you could hide it the first 12-14 weeks the first time you cant the second. You start showing way sooner than you plan. Your body is stretched out from the first time and you arent quite ready to see yourself growing as early as you are. By the time we were announcing the pregancy, it was almost old news to everyone. You could clearly tell I was having another baby. Preparing the house and Charlotte for baby number two would be our focus for most of the pregnancy and who knew if we could even prepare ourselves enough for baby number two.
Our house is more than capable to handle the second child. When we purchased our home a few weeks before we had Charlotte, we purchased a 4 bedroom home knowing that we would one day want two children. As much as we loved our C, we knew that having a sibling would be beneficial for her later in her life. Having a friend and a confident, even if it was a boy, would be something she would thank us for one day even if it was in her adult life. We have always struggled with C sleeping in her own bed (ours is much more fun to her) so we prepared her for a big girl room. We planned to turn our guest room into C's big girl room and started to scope out plans to make it her space. Comforters were purchased, curtains were hung and finally paint was ready to go on the walls. After a few more trips to Home Depot than we planned, she had her big girl room. Did she sleep in in- nope, but its ready for her when she finally decides she is ready to cut that cord.
Emotionally we tried to prepare Charlotte as much as possible. When we would be around people that had more than one child we would explain big brother and big sister to her as well as babies and such to Charlotte. We spent time explaining change to her but also tried to make sure that she understood her place in our hearts. We started Gymnastics with daddy and swimming lessons with daddy to prepare her for special time and to make her have somewhat of a distraction. Not only did she learn new skills but it also helped us realize how independent she was becoming. Watching her learn and grow is something that we are both seeing. Her development is strong and she is learning but how will she react to baby number two.
Fast forward to now, as I look back on the last few months I wouldn't trade it for the world. Do I feel that we prepared her well- yes. Do I think we could have done something different-no. Would I have done anything different- no. Was the reaction what I expected- HELL NO. The first few days were awful. We went into labor in the middle of the night and C was sleeping (I will save that story for the labor update) but we didn't want to wake her to say goodbye. I regret this. I should have woken her up and told her what was going on. I guess you don't know how to handle these situations until you are in them. I made a decision as a parent that I regret, but it could have been just as bad with her waking up. Later the next day
after the baby was born we had Kim bring her to the hospital. The reaction was awful. She wasn't the little girl I left in bed the night before. I sat and watched her hold her head down and not be the vocal little person I love so much. As I look back now I understand it was just a part of her dealing with change, however, it was hard on a hormonal lady. I cried a ton and tried to make her feel special, but it was admittedly rough. C stayed with my parents and got some special time but I will say i wasn't sure how things were going to go the first few weeks.
Looking back two weeks later I can say things are adjusting just fine. Prepared for two kids - no. Adjusting to two kids- yes. C is adjusting very well and is making for a good big sister. She is finding her adjustments by sometimes acting like a baby and sometimes acting like a 5 year old. We are trying to keep her on a schedule and the only other adjustment will be when I go back to work. I am hoping she will continue to amaze me as a big sister while we learn to be a family of 4. I am excited to be a mother of these beautiful girls and really looking forward to their relationships later on in their life.
